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dictionarysaysThe Month Kimura Nearly Threw His Phone into Tokyo Bay
Tsuyoshi/Kimura | PG-13 | Part 3
The last time he had seen Tsuyoshi was after a SMAPxSMAP shoot, the studio was still buzzing with energy and Tsuyoshi’s brow was soaked with sweat. He teased Tsuyoshi, you still sweat after all this time, and Tsuyoshi just laughed, mopping at his brow with a handkerchief Kimura knew had SMAP printed all over it. Tsuyoshi’s cheeks were pink and there was no way he could ignore the light in his eyes as Shingo pounced over, swatting at them both playfully, inviting them over to his for some games with friends before skipping out of there. Kimura remembers not getting where Shingo got all that enthusiasm and Tsuyoshi was probably thinking the same if his happy-gentle smile had anything to say about it. The whole thing was brief, Kimura had a call and Tsuyoshi just waved him off genially, I’ll talk to you later, before wandering over to a Nakai who was quiet and on his own. Kimura couldn’t pull him away, he had a call, and that’s how things went.
Then all of this happened and Kimura chose to believe that if only he hadn’t taken the call—none of this would’ve happened.
Kimura scoffs in the darkness.
The rest of the flashes are bright and quick, but he catches snippets of Tsuyoshi’s weakened grin, that sheepish face he’d make right before a scripted kiss (Nakai was always the domineering one), the curve of his shoulders when he’d run up ahead, that phase when his hair was longer than it should’ve been and it would sometimes stick to his neck because Kimura knew the feeling, the gentle squeeze of his hand in his own after an especially slow song—they were all brief but so vivid, Kimura’s body was rigid and his stomach was twisting for all it was worth; he had to swallow more than once to make sure none of this was real, that he was just thinking.
“Fuck.” Kimura’s throat is dry but he doesn’t care, he rolls over needlessly, punching the pillow, grinding his teeth and just shaking from the bottom up.
He wants sleep but he knows what he wants more (so he masturbates, frustrated and quick, losing it in just over a minute and completely spent—he finally falls asleep).
The next day shooting is slow, but Kimura has a lot of breaks in between and devours two bentos without a second glance. The AD (the same one to coax him out of the washroom) is mildly concerned, is anything wrong? Kimura shrugs it off, lack of sleep, and he’s left alone—he plays with the chain attached to his pants. His phone suddenly vibrates and everything from last night comes back up, but he checks all the same, and it’s Shingo-chan—his mouth relaxes and he picks the thing up.
“Why are you calling so early?”
“I’m bored and we’re changing locations, so I thought I’d check up on you.” Kimura laughs, rolling his eyes and crossing his legs. He can catch the rumble of tires from the other end. “Why’d you pick up?”
“I’m on break; chances of me picking up are higher than usual.”
“What you eating?”
“Bento—“
“Figured. You know Goro was over at Tsuyopon’s yesterday?” Kimura wants to smile, he really does, but the miniature frown gets there first. He pulls the phone closer to his ear.
“He was? That’s... probably good, isn’t it.”
“Mm. He brought eel and everything! Tsuyopon sounded really glad, they didn’t do much he said, but the thought was really nice—just having someone around for a while was enough.” Kimura can hear Shingo’s smile and that makes his chest hurt because he’s not smiling when he knows he should be (Tsuyoshi’s happy, so why the hell isn’t he?).
“That was very nice of Goro. I bet you’d do the same if you could, huh?”
“Yeah. All this on-location stuff is tough and anyway, I mean, I talk to him so much it’s almost like I’m over at his.” The AD pops back in, gesturing towards his watch sheepishly, Kimura nods and starts to get up.
“Ah. Well, looks like my break’s over, Shingo-chan, I have to get going. Be good.”
“When am I not? People think I’m great, yanno. But yeah, I’ll let you go, stay sexy.” Kimura laughs in a way that means he will and Shingo knows that. Kimura is the first to hang up and for the first time in a long while, he brings his phone with him. Just in case.
Some phone calls aren’t all that bad.
Kimura hadn’t had a day off for nearly two weeks and the fatigue was starting to catch up to him (make-up made it their mission to eliminate any and all dark circles from his face, all Kimura wanted was a nap—they worked out a deal). Somehow, Shingo and him had fallen into a strange routine where they’d talk over the phone during their breaks (Nakai wasn’t a phone person and Goro-chan and him didn’t talk all that often when they were shooting something); it consisted of a lot of complaints about the weather on Shingo’s part and loud laughs on Kimura’s end. Kimura never asked, but Shingo still made it his duty to update him on Tsuyoshi and that was the only way he knew Tsuyoshi would be fine (that and the faith he had in the younger man). Shingo was eager about the month nearing its close, rehearsals were already set for the return of SMAPxSMAP and apparently Tsuyoshi was apologetic as ever. Kimura could believe that.
“If I had broken the sword, okay, fine, but it wasn’t even my fault! You don’t think that’s right, right?” Kimura shakes his head, letting a chortle escape his lips as he sidesteps one of the staff, smiling in greeting and making his way to the catering table.
“Just tell them you didn’t do it. You’d get away with murder, never mind a broken prop sword if you smiled that idol smile of yours.” Shingo laughs some, pulling away from the phone so as to talk to someone on the other end. Kimura doesn’t mind, he holds the phone with his shoulder now and starts to pick some pineapple from the fruit tray. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Someone’s calling. “One sec’, Shingo, someone’s on the other line.” Shingo’s still talking to somebody else, so he gets the phone away from his ear and checks the I.D.
Tsuyoshi-kun. Kimura’s cheeks puff up, he squeezes the half-eaten pineapple in his hand and he can’t hang up the call fast enough. In his panic he hangs up on Shingo too but he won’t mind, he was busy anyway—and now Kimura’s stomach is tied up in knots. He sighs at the destroyed pineapple in his left hand and cleans the mess with a napkin; the spaces between his fingers are all sticky.
Stupid Tsuyoshi. If Kimura wasn’t on set he’d probably be kicking a wall or pulling his hair out of pure fear. One of the two. He hates the toll this is taking on him, he’s doing this for Tsuyoshi’s sake, he swears. Tough love, that’s the name of the game and there’s no doubt in Kimura’s mind that Nakai’s doing the same (he knows the man more than well enough). Kimura hasn’t even had the heart to listen to Tsuyoshi’s messages; his voicemail is filled with them.
Kimura stares down at the small stupid thing, seriously contemplating dropping it in the vat of miso soup on the table before he’s broken away from his thoughts by one of his cast mate’s hand on his shoulder and a friendly squeeze.
Part 4
Tsuyoshi/Kimura | PG-13 | Part 3
The last time he had seen Tsuyoshi was after a SMAPxSMAP shoot, the studio was still buzzing with energy and Tsuyoshi’s brow was soaked with sweat. He teased Tsuyoshi, you still sweat after all this time, and Tsuyoshi just laughed, mopping at his brow with a handkerchief Kimura knew had SMAP printed all over it. Tsuyoshi’s cheeks were pink and there was no way he could ignore the light in his eyes as Shingo pounced over, swatting at them both playfully, inviting them over to his for some games with friends before skipping out of there. Kimura remembers not getting where Shingo got all that enthusiasm and Tsuyoshi was probably thinking the same if his happy-gentle smile had anything to say about it. The whole thing was brief, Kimura had a call and Tsuyoshi just waved him off genially, I’ll talk to you later, before wandering over to a Nakai who was quiet and on his own. Kimura couldn’t pull him away, he had a call, and that’s how things went.
Then all of this happened and Kimura chose to believe that if only he hadn’t taken the call—none of this would’ve happened.
Kimura scoffs in the darkness.
The rest of the flashes are bright and quick, but he catches snippets of Tsuyoshi’s weakened grin, that sheepish face he’d make right before a scripted kiss (Nakai was always the domineering one), the curve of his shoulders when he’d run up ahead, that phase when his hair was longer than it should’ve been and it would sometimes stick to his neck because Kimura knew the feeling, the gentle squeeze of his hand in his own after an especially slow song—they were all brief but so vivid, Kimura’s body was rigid and his stomach was twisting for all it was worth; he had to swallow more than once to make sure none of this was real, that he was just thinking.
“Fuck.” Kimura’s throat is dry but he doesn’t care, he rolls over needlessly, punching the pillow, grinding his teeth and just shaking from the bottom up.
He wants sleep but he knows what he wants more (so he masturbates, frustrated and quick, losing it in just over a minute and completely spent—he finally falls asleep).
The next day shooting is slow, but Kimura has a lot of breaks in between and devours two bentos without a second glance. The AD (the same one to coax him out of the washroom) is mildly concerned, is anything wrong? Kimura shrugs it off, lack of sleep, and he’s left alone—he plays with the chain attached to his pants. His phone suddenly vibrates and everything from last night comes back up, but he checks all the same, and it’s Shingo-chan—his mouth relaxes and he picks the thing up.
“Why are you calling so early?”
“I’m bored and we’re changing locations, so I thought I’d check up on you.” Kimura laughs, rolling his eyes and crossing his legs. He can catch the rumble of tires from the other end. “Why’d you pick up?”
“I’m on break; chances of me picking up are higher than usual.”
“What you eating?”
“Bento—“
“Figured. You know Goro was over at Tsuyopon’s yesterday?” Kimura wants to smile, he really does, but the miniature frown gets there first. He pulls the phone closer to his ear.
“He was? That’s... probably good, isn’t it.”
“Mm. He brought eel and everything! Tsuyopon sounded really glad, they didn’t do much he said, but the thought was really nice—just having someone around for a while was enough.” Kimura can hear Shingo’s smile and that makes his chest hurt because he’s not smiling when he knows he should be (Tsuyoshi’s happy, so why the hell isn’t he?).
“That was very nice of Goro. I bet you’d do the same if you could, huh?”
“Yeah. All this on-location stuff is tough and anyway, I mean, I talk to him so much it’s almost like I’m over at his.” The AD pops back in, gesturing towards his watch sheepishly, Kimura nods and starts to get up.
“Ah. Well, looks like my break’s over, Shingo-chan, I have to get going. Be good.”
“When am I not? People think I’m great, yanno. But yeah, I’ll let you go, stay sexy.” Kimura laughs in a way that means he will and Shingo knows that. Kimura is the first to hang up and for the first time in a long while, he brings his phone with him. Just in case.
Some phone calls aren’t all that bad.
Kimura hadn’t had a day off for nearly two weeks and the fatigue was starting to catch up to him (make-up made it their mission to eliminate any and all dark circles from his face, all Kimura wanted was a nap—they worked out a deal). Somehow, Shingo and him had fallen into a strange routine where they’d talk over the phone during their breaks (Nakai wasn’t a phone person and Goro-chan and him didn’t talk all that often when they were shooting something); it consisted of a lot of complaints about the weather on Shingo’s part and loud laughs on Kimura’s end. Kimura never asked, but Shingo still made it his duty to update him on Tsuyoshi and that was the only way he knew Tsuyoshi would be fine (that and the faith he had in the younger man). Shingo was eager about the month nearing its close, rehearsals were already set for the return of SMAPxSMAP and apparently Tsuyoshi was apologetic as ever. Kimura could believe that.
“If I had broken the sword, okay, fine, but it wasn’t even my fault! You don’t think that’s right, right?” Kimura shakes his head, letting a chortle escape his lips as he sidesteps one of the staff, smiling in greeting and making his way to the catering table.
“Just tell them you didn’t do it. You’d get away with murder, never mind a broken prop sword if you smiled that idol smile of yours.” Shingo laughs some, pulling away from the phone so as to talk to someone on the other end. Kimura doesn’t mind, he holds the phone with his shoulder now and starts to pick some pineapple from the fruit tray. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Someone’s calling. “One sec’, Shingo, someone’s on the other line.” Shingo’s still talking to somebody else, so he gets the phone away from his ear and checks the I.D.
Tsuyoshi-kun. Kimura’s cheeks puff up, he squeezes the half-eaten pineapple in his hand and he can’t hang up the call fast enough. In his panic he hangs up on Shingo too but he won’t mind, he was busy anyway—and now Kimura’s stomach is tied up in knots. He sighs at the destroyed pineapple in his left hand and cleans the mess with a napkin; the spaces between his fingers are all sticky.
Stupid Tsuyoshi. If Kimura wasn’t on set he’d probably be kicking a wall or pulling his hair out of pure fear. One of the two. He hates the toll this is taking on him, he’s doing this for Tsuyoshi’s sake, he swears. Tough love, that’s the name of the game and there’s no doubt in Kimura’s mind that Nakai’s doing the same (he knows the man more than well enough). Kimura hasn’t even had the heart to listen to Tsuyoshi’s messages; his voicemail is filled with them.
Kimura stares down at the small stupid thing, seriously contemplating dropping it in the vat of miso soup on the table before he’s broken away from his thoughts by one of his cast mate’s hand on his shoulder and a friendly squeeze.
Part 4
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 01:11 am (UTC)This. Takuya just takes too much on his own shoulders. As much as he is such a strong person, I'm always worried that he will wear himself out. *hugs*
I love the Nakai dominating Tsuyoshi moment for all the wrong reasons really. *wicked smirk*
But my gosh, the memories between Takuya and Tsuyoshi, the fear, the constant self-reassurance, the contradictory emotions: you are merciless in tugging at the heartstrings. T.T
And you just make me fall in love with ShinTaku more and more. XD XD XD I mean,
“Ah. Well, looks like my break’s over, Shingo-chan, I have to get going. Be good.”
“When am I not? People think I’m great, yanno. But yeah, I’ll let you go, stay sexy.”
and this,
Kimura never asked, but Shingo still made it his duty to update him on Tsuyoshi and that was the only way he knew Tsuyoshi would be fine
and this,
“Just tell them you didn’t do it. You’d get away with murder, never mind a broken prop sword if you smiled that idol smile of yours.”
*fangirl gushing*
no subject
Date: 2010-09-11 03:18 am (UTC)Hahah! Nakai domineering any of the SMAPers is fine by me (but there's something totally wicked about him dominating Tsuyopon because he makes me think of rainbows & after the rain & Nakai mastering that is great). /DOES NOT IGNORE TRAIN OF THOUGHTS
I'm sorry about the heartstrings! DD: It's the angst, it got a hold of me before I could rein that badboy in.
Oh ShinTaku <444 /FANGIRLS WITH AS SHE THANKS YOU AT THE SAME TIME
*If anybody reads this who absolutely abhors ShinTaku, this would be a nightmare, hahah (not that I think there's anyone sane who could actually feel that way).
no subject
Date: 2010-09-12 11:58 pm (UTC)Wait, before I go on any further, I should probably take a moment to warn you that I'm Takuya bias, which is my way of trying to find an reason to excuse myself since I'm going to be gushing about him in my replies *sheepish smile*
I guess it could be because of Takuya's upbringing and childhood? I remember reading somewhere before that when he was 14 years old, he became the sole breadwinner for his family because his father was seriously ill (which could explain his "big brother" and overly responsible tendencies because he literally provided for his family and raised his younger brother). And his father was also the really strict and discipline type, so he used to tell Takuya that "boys don't cry", which is probably why he's such a machine when it comes to putting his all into his work and acting tough. (Total TakuGoro moment is when Goro agrees that Takuya's father is really scary ^^;). I mean, seriously, if my father taught me how to swim by throwing me into the pool and telling me to just "SWIM!", I'd probably be traumatized for life.
But, I'm so conflicted about this because damn, this is the reason Takuya's become the man he is today. And despite it all, the love and admiration between father and son just shines through so... *sighs*
Lol! Gushing over~~ *sheepish smile* Getting back on topic...
So right about the Nakai on anyone~~~ *wicked smirk* *train of thought derails into mush* And Nakai on Tsuyoshi is just *drools* (Is totally imagining that the reason Nakai forced Tsuyoshi to do cartwheels when they were younger because he just wanted to admire Tsuyoshi's *coughs*flexibility*coughs* XD XD XD).
*looks completely horrified* Not liking ShinTaku (and I don't just mean in a slashy sort of way)?! How is that even possible? It's ShinTaku *wibbles* XD XD XD
no subject
Date: 2010-09-11 10:48 am (UTC)before wandering over to a Nakai who was quiet and on his own.
I'm gonna end up quoting about every line that has Nakai in this fic :X I'M SORRY. But I love how you slipped that in. He strikes me as a tad lonely sometimes, because Goro has Kimura, and Tsuyoshi has Shingo... And I'm not sure, but it seemed like Nakai was close to Mori in some ways (well, considering he BAWLED at the final ep with Mori). Although, I like to think more that Nakai just loves all of SMAP, and he refuses to choose a favourite.
so he masturbates, frustrated and quick, losing it in just over a minute and completely spent
At the risk of sounding like a perv, I'm gonna quote this line because it's just so perfect at describing how Kimura's desperate for something that would take away his frustration, even if only for a moment.
Some phone calls aren’t all that bad.
Shingo's a dear, and he really doesn't even like phone calls in the first place. I love how he calls Kimura to sorta check on him and make sure the dude's alright - but he knows Kimura wouldn't tolerate any checking on so he just veils the whole thing with cheeriness.
P.S. Okay I spotted another Nakai line and I so wanted to quote it, but I didn't have anything intelligent to say about it other than YESNAKAIISTORTURINGHIMSELFTOO - but that's not the point of this fic so I settled for a little post note (and a cute Nakai icon to let
himyou know I love him ;) )