[personal profile] dictionarysays
the title has nothing to do with the post itself but i love goro and i have serious must re-watch s.m.a.p. urges to deal with |D

So I've been wanting to write this entry for like a week now, but then got busy and started it then stopped and erased it  but then heretic encouraged me and that sort of worked because I think we might have similar feelings or smth and I want someone to rant with either way so there's that. And I still don't know how to organize my thoughts into walls of text so I'm just gonna' hope for the best here and let it all out, lol. 

I'm also totally still running off my raging feelings from last night after watching episode 4 and the preview for next week and the terrifying implications and omg IF THEY DO WHAT I THINK THEY MIGHT DO I'LL JUST STOP. 

Which works as an awesome segue for me to say that I have a thing for male camaraderie in harrowing situations, so like really, nankyoku is Pretty Much Catered To Me, but at the same time, if I'm totally honest, there's really only three reasons I'm still? watching it and their names are:
Himuro, Hoshino and Shirosaki-sensei.
I have such strong feelings for these men, I don't even know where to begin. The way I immediately attached to Himuro probably surprises me the least because I'm sorry, characters who start out cold but clearly have a reason for it usually traumatic that's slowly revealed throughout the series and who you just KNOW have a heart and tease you with half-smiles and assholery in the beginning are my weakness. I obviously also ship him and Kuramochi in a very much bromance way, and can't wait to see how their relationship will play out and how it'll change while they're over there which is one of the reasons besides the obvious why that preview terrified and angered me and better not end the way it looks like it's going to end, I don't even care if they have to do something impossible and miracle-like. /derailed He also just has some of the most hilarious moments and I think he's so cute and it's underplayed because we're still getting to know him and he's still all 'I'm an observer, bitches' like that scene in ep. 3 where Hoshino's looking at the map and Himuro keeps trying to grab it but fails every time and bawww, it's so cute. And having him played by Sakai, who I'm so used to seeing smiling and being a general adorable human being? It was ridiculously weird at first but now I just can't wait for the character growth every episode and the layers being constantly peeled. ;AAA; /there's a dirty joke there that i'm not touching just because

When it comes to Hoshino, first things first, I can't believe they managed to make Kagawa look that old. I always have at least one moment every episode where I'm all, jfc kagawa, they made you over good. So okay, yeah, I also may have biased feelings for these two too, but I don't think that matters all that much. It's more to do with Hoshino's quirky adorableness and how he's always one step ahead of everyone else but probably a lot more and how he just knows things and the only way he'll tell you is by smiling those cheeky grins of his and looking at you all wide-eyed and glimmering behind his glasses and honestly, he is the epitome of the wizard archetype for me most of the time. Which sounds weird to me too because I haven't been in grade 10 english for years, but that's what I keep getting from him and I've been calling him wizard in my head since episode 1, so yeah. I think he has the sort of stability the other guys aren't able to find in their selves, and yeah, it does tie back to Shirosaki entrusting the crew to him as well, but I think he's a generally really solid guy. And he showed Einstein around Kyoto. That attests to his awesomeness enough. <3

Now Shirosaki's special. One, because he's barely in the show as it is my god, do I wish there was a way he could've stayed back  with the boys and two, I'm immediately moved when he's on the screen. I don't have the I've-seen-him-in-other-stuff excuse that I could sort of use like the other two and even I don't really get why he's had such an impact on me, but I do know this. He has so many feelings to give to his crew and I believe that everything he says and does comes from a genuine and soft place inside of him and I can't help but cry every time he talked about the boys or he was concerned or he entrusted the crew to Hoshino on the ice with water in his eyes when you knew he wished he could be there too or when he saluted them goodbye with probably all the love and respect he could muster up between all his tears and uggggh, he's just so touching, 'kay? ;AAAA; And he's this older man who I guess might give me grandfatherly vibes? but I don't think it's that either. I think it's more the true sincerity he's exuded since the beginning and how much he believes in this project and the boys and how he puts that altogether to make some really pretty moments and a great character. 

Uhhh, character-worship aside, lol, it's more the drama itself that I've got qualms with. I mean, it's TBS' 60th anniversary so I get that it's a big deal and that they pulled out all the stops for this one and I'm in total awe and want to give big ups to everyone who worked on it. I'm not doubting all the stupendous work that went into it, I'm having more issue with how predictable it's being. Tbh, I'm a little sad that Kuramochi isn't really one of the reasons above, especially since I'd been all, 'Whooo! Kim+toque+doggies!' when I'd heard the news. :'D  

ALSO, I WANNA KNOW IF I'M THE ONLY ONE OR WHAT but is anybody else feeling like nankyoku is similar to karei-naru? idk if it's because of the narrator who I'm totally positive is the same narrator from the latter, but I haven't checked mostly because I don't want to get hooked into watching the entire series again and then getting my soul beat up repeatedly. Even though you're my favourite drama karei, that doesn't mean I like being abused! at least not all the time. Or maybe it's the way that everything that could go wrong does but with a twist of fate or more like because of Kim ;D they're saved until the next time the script decides to go all circular on us. That scene in ep. 2? where all those workers came to the rescue to help build Soya was totally ripped from karei and no one can convince me otherwise~

See? This is what I was worried about, being all over the place and not getting what I wanted across and making misunderstandings and siiiiigh. Despite the fact I say all this, I'm still too-excited every time an episode's released. 

Oh! I'm also not behind Miyuki/Kuramochi AT ALL. I don't have a problem with Ayase, since I don't follow her enough in the first place to really have much of an opinion on her anyway besides the random SxS episode or other variety show I've seen her on, and I shipped her with Ryusuke like you wouldn't even believe in Mr. Brain so it's nothing personal. I just really can't get behind sister and brother-in-law ultimately getting it on. For one, isn't it disrespectful to his late-wife why have there not been any Nakama/Kimura scenes yet?! aka Her Sister Who Died? It's been like, what, 10 years since the war? So it's not that I'm saying Kuramochi shouldn't move on or anything, but the circumstances make me uncomfortable enough that I can't ship them and would rather she ended up with Himuro if, you know, he doesn't end up with me :9 instead. I bet the show will do smth to illustrate Nakama's blessings from beyond, show that she approves and make them getting together look good and then I will roll my eyes/shake my head/pffft more than usual and be pissed for the rest of my days. As long as they don't do that 'til the very end. I don't want them ruining the rest of the episodes for me. 8|

I'm really hoping they focus in on some of the other crew members soon. I want to know other people's stories too. There's like 11 of them and we really only know anything about 4? That ain't right and I'm having trouble with a lot of their names which could totally be rectified if I had a reason to be attached, so I'm thinking the later episodes will be doing some of that and if not, I'll be really disappointed. :/

Since I didn't really touch on it yet and I should, predictability is my biggest fault with nankyoku. It's a little eye-rolling whenever smth dangerous! happens and srsly, how many more bad things can happen? The last 4 episodes alone have had fires and ice breaking off and blizzards etcetc. That's pretty jam-packed if you ask me. Also, Kuramochi being the hero all the time makes me head-desk sometimes, NGL and makes the predictability that much worse and just, guuuh, I know that you're awesome Kimura but do you have to jump into everything first? It's also a lot more melodramatic than I thought it would be I think. I was expecting it to be, true, but I guess on top of the predictability, it's sort of a bummer. I'll still finish it though and wait eagerly for each release and cry whenever the drama tells me to because it's good at turning my faucet on, but I'm going down kicking and screaming if I have to, lol.

Is it weird that I kind of feel like a bad person? idk why that is, well, no, that's a lie, I know why it is; I feel like my thoughts about this drama aren't as generous as the ones I've read or sortofbutnotreally talked about with friends on my flist and that almost completely explains why I've been procrastinating this. 8|;; But then again, that's what I love about fandom so much, that we can have all these different thoughts and ideas and have a place to hash it out and it's no fun if everything's rainbows and apple pies all the time anyway. Right? |Db

I think I'm done vomiting for now. I really just needed this entry to happen so I could wrench this stuff out, ahaha.

I'm totally open to and encourage any and all opinions/rants/flails/HDUs below. <33

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