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dictionarysays) wrote2010-10-12 11:39 pm
(SMAP) We Are SMAP! (Part 1)
We Are SMAP!
Kimura/Nakai, SMAP | PG | Part 1
Moar 2TOP? I think so. This is completely inspired by a 'fic I read about, I'd say, two years ago. I started this in the summer, well, just the general gist and wrote the whole thing yesterday. This is entirely silly and out of whack for the most part, but I like that.
“How long have you been going commando?” asks Shingo.
Nakai frowns, checks in his pants and wants an explanation.
“I can see through your pants.” It takes a second for Nakai to nod, Shingo to grin and for the both of them to agree this is a never-talking-about-again situation.
An hour later, Goro is covering his crotch and hiding between Kimura and a stool. Shingo’s cackling (something about sparkles and hearts) and in fifteen minutes, everyone else gets the gist. Shingo makes it his duty to let Tsuyoshi know what the staff is or isn’t wearing between breaks and Kimura smacks the back of his head twice.
Somehow, Shingo isn’t all that surprised when Nakai starts complaining about muscle pain and the next morning his arms are stretching over ten feet.
POW!
By the end of the week, everyone’s sick and tired of Nakai’s extra stretchy limbs and they seriously contemplate tying him down. Nakai goes out of his way to get the coffee on the highest shelf (he offers everyone else a hand—Tsuyoshi’s the only who can’t say no).
TV privileges get even worse, it doesn’t matter if Goro has the remote or not; Nakai still changes the channel from the room next door. Tsuyopon is almost relieved to be on-camera because he knows Nakai won’t stretch then (but when it’s break he’s stuck between Shingo’s x-ray underwear vision and Nakai tapping his shoulder from the other end of the table).
Kimura’s worried about Nakai’s transitioning and holds a meeting—but it ends up being more like, Shingo tackles Nakai after the shoot, drags him into their dressing room and holds him back as the others stare; Goro tries to smile but Nakai isn’t having any of that and Tsuyopon’s scared.
“I know it must be weird to go from being really short to suddenly really long.” And because it’s Kimura, Nakai stops sneering, Shingo lets him go and Nakai promises to stop showing off.
BOFF!
Tsuyoshi’s takes a little longer to notice.
“I can’t find my beanie. Any of you seen it?” Nakai’s fumbling around the studio, arms stretching far and wide.
Shingo shrugs, splitting an orange with Kimura (“What’s he wearing today?” “A thong.”).
“Which one?” Goro asks.
“It’s white and blue and there’s a thing at the back.”
“A thing?” Tsuyopon asks too.
“Yeah, you know the one that looks like that other thing I wore last week—except. This one is more like here than there.” Nakai gestures wildly, trying to charades it out.
Nobody knows so Nakai continues to run around, his outstretched arms getting caught more than once around some of the cameras.
Tsuyopon wouldn’t usually regret the thought, but he wishes the magazine in Goro’s hand could hit Nakai’s face and suddenly Nakai’s yelping and Goro’s swearing he didn’t do it.
Nakai complains about it being too much like his power (“He does it with his mind; I do it with my arms, same difference!”) and Shingo wrangles Goro into designing superhero costumes with him.
Kimura on the other hand thinks it’s kind of cool.
BANK!
Kimura hasn’t entirely wrapped his head around the sudden surge of super powers and mentions it to Nakai one night(they’re over at his, something about a broken fridge but Kimura knows he just doesn’t want to drink alone).
“Are you kidding? We now stand for Super Men Always Perfect or something.” Nakai’s only on his second beer, so he’s not drunk just yet and has no excuse for the lame acronym.
“I suppose. Isn’t it still strange though? Your back hurts more now.” Kimura plays with the tab on the can.
Nakai shrugs.
“I don’t mind! I mean, just last week, I bought shoes in men’s size.” Kimura fixes him with a look that says, not even sometimes?
He concedes, “Fine, okay, yeah. Sometimes it sucks. It feels like growing pains all over again.”
Around three am Nakai tries to guess what Kimura’s super power will be. When Nakai suggests laser beams from his ass for the fifth time, Kimura decides to call it a night.
Nakai can’t find Kimura a pillow, so when he thinks he’s asleep; he stretches his arm out just enough (there’s five feet between them), slips it beneath Kimura’s head and cushions him for the rest of the night.
PART 2
no subject
Like when does that ever happen?
I'm going to post my comments separately because I don't think LJ will let me post it if I just post one LOOONG comment on the last chapter :X
[Plus it's easier to quote this way.]
“I can see through your pants.” It takes a second for Nakai to nod, Shingo to grin and for the both of them to agree this is a never-talking-about-again situation
I was like all, what what what? What happened? It took my foggy, sleepy-at-work brain ages to actually understand all of that. I still didn't get it by the time Nakai had stretchy limbs - I had to reread the whole first two paragraphs about twice - but it's totally me, and not you. I love how Shingo has X-ray eyes though. It's just so.. him XD And it's fun that it's him, because he'll announce everything, and no one else would XD
TV privileges get even worse, it doesn’t matter if Goro has the remote or not; Nakai still changes the channel from the room next door.
Even though Nakai can't see the TV and all. He's just out to annoy Goro. I have this image of Shingo getting Nakai to change the channel for him, and Nakai obliges Shingo, because it annoys the hell outta Goro.
“I know it must be weird to go from being really short to suddenly really long.”
Ahem, taken out of context, that line's just... dubious ;)
Nakai complains about it being too much like his power (“He does it with his mind; I do it with my arms, same difference!”)
SAME DIFFERENCE? REALLY? No, Tsuyopon's is way more cool, he doesn't even need that much effort?
Super Men Always Perfect
-groans- This came out of your head, so you're equally lame like that. But.. apt eh? XD
Nakai can’t find Kimura a pillow, so when he thinks he’s asleep; he stretches his arm out just enough (there’s five feet between them), slips it beneath Kimura’s head and cushions him for the rest of the night.
Awww, I loved how they banter the whole time, but Nakai gives in mostly, and then he does something sweet like that, when he thinks Kimura won't notice and laugh at him for being cheesy that way :X
no subject
It's a feeling I thoroughly enjoy.
Shingo being sukebe is win, and Nakai's immature suggestion of Kimura's superpower is HILARIOUS.
no subject
no subject
I hope it wasn't too WTF for ya'. But it was so fun to write! I think it's my favourite out of all the one's I'd written, just because it was pure crack and fun and so easy.
Thanks~~